The past few weeks I have been sorting out my photos from my epic trip last year hence the radio/blog silence. I had actually forgotten how long it takes to go through and edit all the pictures! It also made me really sad looking back on the wonderful memories and friends I have made, wishing I was back there experiencing those things for the first time, but even though it made me long for those times in truth it was also a good thing. I have been feeling stuck in a sort of limbo of late and it triggered something in me and made me realise that I need to start creating some more memories.
I have been trying to be positive over the last couple of weeks but have found it hard to keep my spirits up as the urge to travel again has been there and envelops me like a blanket. It is strange, as up until last year I had never really travelled by myself and although there was always a itch at the back of mind, as soon I scratched it it would go away, but now it is totally different no amount of scratching will make this go away. I long for an adventure, in the pit of my stomach there is a dull ache of want and need, a need for that little thing called travel.
I never thought I was one of these people who felt down about anything but the longer I am stuck in one place doing nothing, the harder it is to pick myself up and the more my spirit seems to fade. Some people would say stop being so overdramatic and maybe I am but in all honesty I need to be for once. In general I am known for being optimistic and full of life, I am that person who always sees the glass half full, I have a positive outlook on life. In truth I am finding it harder and harder to put this front on. I have found myself getting lazy, I can’t be bothered to write, I question what the point of leaving the house is and even whether to get up in the morning. I am essentially stuck in a rut which I am struggling to get out of and I hate myself for being there. All I want is to be taken back to those happier times in those photos.
As the phrase/bond film goes “tomorrow is another day” and and thank goodness that I am off to France and Cornwall for a couple of weeks, it maybe my saving grace and will just be enough to pick myself up, dust myself down and get my shit together. Next week hopefully things will finally start to move with my visa. Some documents are due to come back and then I can progress a bit more down the long road that is Canadian immigration. I never realised what such a long process this would be or that is would be such a waiting game. I guess I have to take each day as it comes, try not to get so disheartend and be thankful for what I have. After all there is always an adventure around the corner no matter how far down the road it is!